"Love that depends on some cause (benefit)" / Cupboard love / Selfish love

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"Love that depends on some cause (benefit)" / Cupboard love / Selfish love

"Love that depends on some cause (benefit)" / Cupboard love / Selfish love

Self-interested love intended to gain something. Love that depends on a certain benefit or advantage. Refers to love that is not pure. The opposite of this expression is 'love that does not depend on anything'.

("Which is love that depends on some cause? That is the love of Amnon and Tamar, and that which does not depend on anything is the love of David and Jonathan." – Pirkei Avot 5:15; also: "Hemed recalled the ridicule of one of his friends who mocked him and said, 'Your love for Rembrandt is love that depends on some cause, how eager he was… you too.'" – Agnon / Al Kafot HaManul, Givat HaChol, 277; also: "Their friendship was love that did not depend on anything. When they left the room and entered the study hall, they became even closer." – Mordechai Ben Yehezkel / Sefer HaMa’asiyot, Part Four, HaTzadik HaYachaf, 91; also: "My love does not depend on anything / it just drifts within the currents of air / like a tall, long-necked stork / migrating between autumn and spring." – Chaim Hefer / My Love Does Not Depend on Anything)

Translation

Expression (Hebrew)

אַהֲבָה הַתְּלוּיָה בְּדָבָר

Definition (Hebrew)

אַהֲבָה אִינְטֵרֵסַנְטִית שֶׁרוֹצִים לְהַשִּׂיג בְּאֶמְצָעוּתָהּ דְּבַר מָה. אַהֲבָה שֶׁתְּלוּיָה בְּדָבָר מְסֻיָּם הַמֵּבִיא תּוֹעֶלֶת כָּלְשֶׁהִי. כִּנּוּי לְאַהֲבָה שֶׁאֵינָהּ טְהוֹרָה.

("אֵיזוֹ הִיא אַהֲבָה שֶׁהִיא תְּלוּיָה בְּדָבָר, זוֹ אַהֲבַת אַמְנוֹן וְתָמָר, וְשֶׁאֵינָהּ תְּלוּיָה בְּדָבָר, זוֹ אַהֲבַת דָּוִד וִיהוֹנָתָן" - אָבוֹת ה טוּ; וְכֵן: "חֶמְדַּת נִזְכַּר לִגְלוּגוֹ שֶׁל אֶחָד מֵחֲבֵרָיו שֶׁהָיָה מְלַגְלֵג עָלָיו וְאוֹמֵר אַהֲבָתְךָ לְרַמְבֶּרְנְדָּט הִיא אַהֲבָה הַתְּלוּיָה בְּדָבָר, מָה הוּא הָיָה לָהוּט… אַף אַתָּה" - עַגְנוֹן/עַל כַּפּוֹת הַמַּנְעוּל, גִּבְעַת הַחוֹל, 277; וְכֵן: "אֲהַבְתֶּם אַהֲבַת רֵעִים שֶׁאֵינָהּ תְּלוּיָה בְּדָבָר. מִשֶּׁעָזְבוּ אֶת הַחֶדֶר וְנִכְנְסוּ לְבַיִת הַמִּדְרָשׁ נִתְקַשְּׁרוּ עוֹד יוֹתֵר" - מָרְדְּכַי בֶּן יְחֶזְקֵאל/סֵפֶר הַמַּעֲשִׂיּוֹת חֵלֶק רְבִיעִי, הַצַּדִּיק הַיָּחֵף, 91; וְכֵן: "הָאַהֲבָה שֶׁלִּי אֵינָהּ תְּלוּיָה בְּדָבָר / רַק שִׁטָּה לָהּ בְּתוֹךְ זִרְמֵי אֲוִיר / כְּמוֹ חֲסִידָה גְּבוֹהָה וַאֲרֻכַּת צַוָּאר / אֲשֶׁר נוֹדֶדֶת בֵּין הַסְּתָו וְהָאָבִיב" - חַיִּים חֵפֶר/הָאַהֲבָה שֶׁלִּי אֵינָהּ תְּלוּיָה בְּדָבָר)

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