Love without rebuke is not love

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Love without rebuke is not love

Love without rebuke is not love

True love includes the ability to give constructive criticism to the person one loves. Genuine love requires expressing honest rebuke, not just words of affection and kindness.

("Rabbi Yosi bar Hanina said: Rebuke leads to love, as it is said (Proverbs 9): 'Reprove the wise, and he will love you.' This is the opinion of Rabbi Yosi bar Hanina, who said: Any love that does not include rebuke is not love. Rabbi Rish Lakish said: Rebuke brings about peace." – Bereishit Rabbah (Vilna), Parashat Vayera, section 54)

Translation

Expression (Hebrew)

אַהֲבָה שֶׁאֵין עִמָּהּ תּוֹכֵחָה אֵינָהּ אַהֲבָה

Definition (Hebrew)

אַהֲבָה אֲמִתִּית כּוֹלֶלֶת יְכֹלֶת לָתֵת בִּקֹּרֶת לָאָדָם אוֹתוֹ אוֹהֲבִים. הָאוֹהֵב בֶּאֱמֶת צָרִיךְ גַּם לְהַשְׁמִיעַ דִּבְרֵי תּוֹכֵחָה כֵּנִים וְלֹא רַק דִּבְרֵי אַהֲבָה וְנֹעַם.

("א"ר יוֹסֵי בַּר חֲנִינָא הַתּוֹכַחַת מְבִיאָה לִידֵי אַהֲבָה, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (מִשְׁלֵי ט) הוּכַח לְחָכָם וְיֹאהֲבֵךְ. הִיא דְּעָתֶיהָ דְּרַבִּי יוֹסֵי בַּר חֲנִינָא דְּאָמַר: כָּל אַהֲבָה שֶׁאֵין עִמָּהּ תּוֹכֵחָה אֵינָהּ אַהֲבָה, אָמַר רֵישׁ לָקִישׁ תּוֹכֵחָה מְבִיאָה לִידֵי שָׁלוֹם" - בְּרֵאשִׁית רַבָּה (וִילְנָא) פָּרָשַׁת וַיַּרְא פָּרָשָׁה נָד)

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