Do not try to appease your friend while he rages

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Do not try to appease your friend while he rages

Do not try to appease your friend while he rages

Do not try to reconcile or reason with someone when he is boiling with anger. One should wait until he calms down, and then make peace with him.

("Rabbi Shimon ben Elazar says: Do not try to appease your friend in his moment of anger, and do not comfort him while his dead lies before him"—Avot 4:19. Also: "Do not try to appease Gold'le while she is angry. Let her be angry and cry until her heart is eased. When her heart is eased, her anger will fade away on its own, as if it never was"—Shalom Aleichem, 'The Gang Broke Up,' Ketzeb.)

Translation

Expression (Hebrew)

אַל תְּרַצֶּה אֶת חֲבֵרְךָ בִּשְׁעַת כַּעֲסוֹ

Definition (Hebrew)

אַל תְּנַסֶּה לְהִתְפַּיֵּס אוֹ לְדַבֵּר עַל לִבּוֹ שֶׁל אָדָם בְּשָׁעָה שֶׁהוּא רוֹתֵחַ מִזַּעַם. יֵשׁ לְהַמְתִּין עַד שֶׁיִּרְגַּע וְאָז לְפַיֵּס אֶת דַּעְתּוֹ.

("רַבִּי שִׁמְעוֹן בֶּן אֶלְעָזָר אוֹמֵר אַל תִּרְצָה אֶת חֲבֵרְךָ בִּשְׁעַת כַּעֲסוֹ וְאַל תְּנַחֲמֶנּוּ בְּשָׁעָה שֶׁמֵּתוּ מֻטָּל לְפָנָיו"- אָבוֹת ד יט, וְכֵן:"אַל תִּרְצָה אֶת גּוֹלְד'לֶה בִּשְׁעַת כָּעֲסָה.תִּכְעַס וְתִבְכֶּה עַד אֲשֶׁר יִרְוַח לַהּ.וְכַאֲשֶׁר יִרְוַח לַהּ, יָפוּג כָּעֲסָה מֵאֵלָיו וְהָיָה כֶּלֶא הֱיֵה"- שָׁלוֹם עֲלֵיכֶם/נִתְפָּרְדָה הַחֲבוּרָה, קַצָּב)

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