Do not cook in a pot where your friend cooked

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Do not cook in a pot where your friend cooked

Do not cook in a pot where your friend cooked

By extension: Do not take a wife who belonged to your friend. Or: It is better to do things from the beginning yourself, in your own way, and not as a continuation of someone else's work.

("Six things Rabbi Akiva commanded Rabbi Shimon bar Yochai when he was imprisoned... He began and said to him: When you teach your sons (Torah), teach them from a carefully edited book, and if you seek to be hanged, hang from a great tree, and do not cook in a pot where your friend cooked, and do not enter a city or your house suddenly, and all the more so your friend's house. If your daughter is grown, free your servant and marry him to her, and do not hasten your feet to your friend's house" – Otzar HaMidrashim (Eisenstein), Chuppat Eliyahu, 174)

Translation

Expression (Hebrew)

אַל תְּבַשֵּׁל בַּקְּדֵרָה שֶׁבִּשֵּׁל בָּהּ חֲבֵרְךָ

Definition (Hebrew)

בְּהַשְׁאָלָה: אַל תִּקַּח אִשָּׁה שֶׁהָיְתָה שֶׁל חֲבֵרְךָ. אוֹ: עָדִיף שֶׁתַּעֲשֶׂה אֶת הַדְּבָרִים מֵהַהַתְחָלָה בְּעַצְמְךָ עַל פִּי דַּרְכְּךָ וְלֹא כְּהֶמְשֵׁךְ לַעֲבוֹדָתוֹ שֶׁל אָדָם אַחֵר.

("שִׁשָּׁה דְּבָרִים צִוָּה ר' עֲקִיבָא אֶת רשב"י כשהיה חבוש בְּבֵית האסורים... פֶּתַח וְאָמַר לוֹ: כְּשֶׁאַתָּה מְלַמֵּד אֶת בָּנֶיךָ (תּוֹרָה) למדם מְסַפֵּר מוגה, וְאִם בקשת ליחנק תָּלָה באילן גָּדוֹל, וְאַל תבשל בקדרה שבישל בְּךָ חבירך, וְאַל תִּכָּנֵס לָעִיר ולביתך פִּתְאוֹם וְכָל שֶׁכֵּן לְבֵית חבירך, בִּתֵּךְ בגרה שַׁחְרֵר עבדך והשיאה לוֹ, וְאַל תְּמַהֵר רַגְלְךָ לְבֵית חבירך"- אוֹצָר המדרשים (אייזנשטיין) חופת אֵלִיָּהוּ, 174)

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