Do not reprove a scoffer, lest he hate you; reprove a wise man, and he will love you

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Do not reprove a scoffer, lest he hate you; reprove a wise man, and he will love you

Do not reprove a scoffer, lest he hate you; reprove a wise man, and he will love you

A proverb stating that one should be open to rebuke and criticism (a wise person appreciates criticism and therefore will love the one who reproves him), and there is no point in reproving a person who cannot accept criticism (like a scoffer who hates the one who reproves him).

("Do not rebuke a scoffer, lest he hate you; rebuke a wise man, and he will love you" - Proverbs 9:8; "Rabbi Yosi bar Chanina said: Rebuke brings one to love, as it is stated: 'Rebuke a wise man, and he will love you.' This is the opinion of Rabbi Yosi bar Chanina, who said: 'Any love that does not include rebuke is not love'" - Bereshit Rabbah 54; "Rabbi Elai said in the name of Rabbi Eleazar ben Shimon: Just as a person is commanded to say something that is heard, so too, he is commanded not to say something that is not heard. Rabbi Abba says: It is a duty, as it is stated: 'Do not rebuke a scoffer, lest he hate you'" - Yevamot 65b)

Translation

Expression (Hebrew)

אַל תּוֹכַח לֵץ פֶּן יִשְׂנָאֶךָּ הוֹכַח לְחָכָם וְיֶאֱהָבֶךָּ

Definition (Hebrew)

פִּתְגָּם לְפִיו יֵשׁ לְגַלּוֹת פְּתִיחוּת לִדְבָרַי תּוֹכֵחָה וּבִקֹּרֶת (חָכָם יוֹדֵעַ לְהַעֲרִיךְ בִּקֹּרֶת וְלָכֵן יֹאהַב אֶת מִי שֶׁמּוֹכִיחַ אוֹתוֹ), וְאֵין טַעַם לְהוֹכִיחַ אָדָם שֶׁלֹּא יוֹדֵעַ לְקַבֵּל בִּקֹּרֶת (כְּמוֹ לֵץ הַשּׂוֹנֵא אֶת מִי שֶׁמּוֹכִיחוֹ).

("אַל תּוֹכַח לֵץ פֶּן יִשְׂנָאֶךָּ הוֹכַח לְחָכָם וְיֶאֱהָבֶךָּ"- מִשְׁלֵי ט ח, וְכֵן:"אָמַר ר' יוֹסֵי בַּר חֲנִינָא: הַתּוֹכֵחָה מְבִיאָה לִידֵי אַהֲבָה, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר:"הוּכַח לְחָכָם וְיֹאהַבְךָ". הִיא דַּעְתּוֹ שֶׁל ר' יוֹסֵי בַּר חֲנִינָא שֶׁאָמַר:"כָּל אַהֲבָה שֶׁאֵין עִמָּהּ תּוֹכֵחָה אִינָה אַהֲבָה" - בְּרֵאשִׁית רַבָּה נָד, וְכֵן:"אָמַר ר' אֶלְעִי מִשּׁוּם ר' אֶלְעָזָר בַּר' שִׁמְעוֹן : כְּשֵׁם שֶׁמִּצְוָה עַל אָדָם לוֹמַר דָּבָר הַנִּשְׁמָע, כָּךְ מִצְוָה עַל אָדָם שֶׁלֹּא לוֹמַר דָּבָר שֶׁאֵינוֹ נִשְׁמָע. ר' אַבָּא אוֹמֵר: חוֹבָה, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר:"אַל תּוּכַח לֵץ פֶּן יִשְׂנָאֵךְ"- מַסֶּכֶת יְבָמוֹת סה ע"ב)-

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