One does not appease a person at the time of his anger

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One does not appease a person at the time of his anger

One does not appease a person at the time of his anger

It is not effective to try to appease a person at the very moment when he is boiling with anger. It is better to wait 'until the anger passes,' and then speak to his heart.

("And Rabbi Yochanan said in the name of Rabbi Yosi: From where do we know that one does not appease a person at the time of his anger? For it is written (Exodus 33): 'My presence will go and I will give you rest.' The Holy One, blessed be He, said to Moses: Wait for Me until the countenance of anger passes and I will give you rest." - Berakhot 7a)

Translation

Expression (Hebrew)

אֵין מֵרַצִּים לוֹ אָדָם בִּשְׁעַת כַּעֲסוֹ

Definition (Hebrew)

אֵין זֶה יָעִיל לְנַסּוֹת לְפַיֵּס אָדָם בְּאוֹתָם רְגָעִים בָּהֶם הוּא רוֹתֵחַ מִזַּעַם. עָדִיף לְהַמְתִּין 'עַד יַעֲבֹר זַעַם' וְאָז לְדַבֵּר עַל לִבּוֹ.

("וְאָמַר רַבִּי יוֹחָנָן מִשּׁוּם רַבִּי יוֹסִי: מִנְיָן שֶׁאֵין מרצין לוֹ לְאָדָם בִּשְׁעַת כעסו?דִּכְתִיב(שְׁמוֹת ל"ג):פָּנַי יֵלְכוּ והנחתי לָךְ. אָמַר לוֹ הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא לְמֹשֶׁה: המתן לִי עַד שֶׁיַּעַבְרוּ פָּנִים שֶׁל זעם ואניח לָךְ"- בְּרָכוֹת ז ע"א)

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