If I Perish, I Perish/ I have nothing to lose/ what must be'must be
A saying that expresses despair on the one hand and great hope on the other. Acceptance of taking a risk because there is nothing left to lose.
("Go, gather all the Jews who are in Shushan, and fast for me... and so I will go to the king, which is not according to the law; and if I perish, I perish" - Esther 4:16 (Esther to Mordechai), and likewise: "And I spread my net and did not catch / and if I perish, I perish. When his mother heard his shame and her shame" - Emmanuel Ha-Romi (13th century), Ha-Yerushah / Inheritance, and likewise: "And as they perish, they perish: / and there is no more support, and the hand is gone, and the way is nowhere" - H.N. Bialik, Davar)
Translation
Expression (Hebrew)
כַּאֲשֶׁר אָבַדְתִּי אָבָדְתִּי
Definition (Hebrew)
פִּתְגָּם הַמְּבַטֵּא יֵאוּשׁ מִצַּד אֶחָד וְתִקְוָוה גְּדוֹלָה מִצַּד שֵׁנִי. הַשְׁלָמָה עִם לְקִיחַת סִכּוּן כִּי אֵין יוֹתֵר מָה לְהַפְסִיד.
("לֵךְ כְּנוֹס אֶת כָּל הַיְּהוּדִים הַנִּמְצְאִים בְּשׁוּשָׁן וְצוּמוּ עָלַי...וּבְכֵן אָבוֹא אֶל הַמֶּלֶךְ אֲשֶׁר לֹא כַדָּת וְכַאֲשֶׁר אָבַדְתִּי אָבָדְתִּי"- אֶסְתֵּר ד טז (אֶסְתֵּר לְמָרְדְּכַי), וְכֵן:"וּפָרַשְׂתִּי רִשְׁתִּי וְלֹא לָכַדְתִּי/ וְכַאֲשֶׁר אָבַדְתִּי אָבַדְתִּי. כְּשָׁמוֹעַ אִמּוֹ חֶרְפָּתוֹ וְחֶרְפָּתָהּ"- עִמָּנוּאֵל הָרוֹמִי (הַמֵּאָה הי"ג)/ הַיְּרֻשָּׁה, וְכֵן:"וְכַאֲשֶׁר יֹאבְדוּ יֹאבְדוּ:/ וְאֵין מִשְׁעָן עוֹד, וְאָזְלַת יָד, וְדֶרֶךְ אַיָּן"- ח.נ. בְּיָאלִיק/ דָּבָר)