A person is not held accountable in their hour of sorrow

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A person is not held accountable in their hour of sorrow

A person is not held accountable in their hour of sorrow

One should not punish a person for things said in a fit of anger or deep sorrow. By extension: one should be forgiving of things a person says in a moment of great anger or grief.

("And it is written (Job 42): 'For you have not spoken of me what is right, as my servant Job has.' Rava said: From here we learn that a person is not held accountable in their hour of sorrow"—Bava Batra 16b. Also: "A person is not held accountable for his sorrow. It was evident that he too was among those who do not know what will break their fast"—Agnon, A Guest for the Night, p. 14. Also: "Do not judge him/in his moment of sorrow, let him ponder thus/thoughts have never harmed anyone"—Natan Yonatan, Before He Is Gathered. Also: "He answered Simcha'le with patience, knowing that a person is not held accountable in his sorrow"—Haim Be'er, To Where the Wind Goes, p. 394)

Translation

Expression (Hebrew)

אֵין אָדָם נִתְפַּס בִּשְׁעַת צַעֲרוֹ

Definition (Hebrew)

אֵין לְהַעֲנִישׁ אָדָם עַל דְּבָרִים שֶׁאָמַר בְּהֶתְקֵף כַּעַס אוֹ צַעַר עָמֹק. בְּהַשְׁאָלָה: יֵשׁ לְהִתְיַחֵס בְּסַלְחָנוּת לַדְּבָרִים שֶׁאָמַר אָדָם בִּשְׁעַת כַּעַס אוֹ צַעַר גָּדוֹל.

("וּכְתִיב (אִיּוֹב מב) כִּי לֹא דְּבַרְתֶּם אֵלִי נְכוֹנָה כְּעַבְדִּי אִיּוֹב- אָמַר רָבָא :מִכָּאן שֶׁאֵין אָדָם נִתְפָּס בִּשְׁעַת צַעֲרוֹ"- בָּבָא בָּתְרָא טז ע"ב, וְכֵן:"אֵין אָדָם נִתְפָּס עַל צַעֲרוֹ. נִכָּר הָיָה שֶׁאַף הוּא מֵאוֹתָם שֶׁאֵין יוֹדְעִים בְּמָה יִשְׁבְּרוּ צוֹמָם"- עַגְנוֹן/ אוֹרֵחַ נָטָה לָלוּן,14, וְכֵן:"אֶל תָּדוּן אוֹתוֹ/ בְּרֶגַע צַעֲרוֹ, הַנַּח לוֹ כָּכָה לַהֲגוֹת/ מַחֲשָׁבוֹת הֵן לֹא הֵרֵעוּ מֵעוֹלָם לְאַף אָדָם"- נָתָן יוֹנָתָן/ לִפְנֵי שֶׁיְּאַסֵּף, וְכֵן:"הֵשִׁיב לָהּ שִׂמְחָה'לֶה בְּאֹרֶךְ רוּחַ, יוֹדֵעַ שֶׁאֵין אָדָם נִתְפָּס עַל צַעֲרוֹ"- ח.בְּאֵר/ אֶל מָקוֹם שֶׁהָרוּחַ הוֹלֵךְ, 394)

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